Fresh Starts

   This weekend I went to San Diego to see my friend Amy, and to escape the realities of going back to the grind. It was a last minute decision made possible by her generous donation of a free flight pass on Southwest. So on the plane I went.
  The trip was filled with entertainment. Saturday we went to the Padres game at Petco park, and happened to sit in the middle of sea of red, aka Phillies fans. Initially I had no interest in either team winning, but I had a bet to win, and the Padres were supposed to help...but that didn't happen. Damn. To ease my woes, we went to a free Bananrama concert. Let me tell you, it was worth every penny. At one point we were convinced that the lead singer was either going to fall off the stage, loose his pants, or accost the cringing band-mates whose dignity was hanging on by a thread. On the plus side, the people watching was pretty damn fantastic. Hanging with Amy and her man was the perfect getaway.
   Now I am trying to wrap my head around the idea that school is starting again. I think one of the reasons I love my job, is that there is a fresh start each year. A chance to do all those things I planned on, but never got around to before. Each year, I get a little better, applying my experience and all that I learned, to make me a better teacher.
   Funny, that same thing can be said for relationships. Each one is a new chance to do it right. You learn from the past, what worked, what didn't, and apply that to the new guy. But if you go through enough relationships, is there truly such a thing as a fresh start?

To be or not to be

 Bangers and mash, kidney pie, boiled vegetables...what do these have in common? Well they are all gross, and all standard foods for my potential destination next school year. I am in the process of applying for a Fulbright teacher exchange position in the U.K.. Crazy exciting, and scary.
  The thing is, I have been dating Shinola guy for almost three months, and while this is currently a record for me, I find myself wondering how this factors into my desire to ditch the U.S.. I am applying no matter what, but if the roles were reversed, how would I feel? "Hey, I like you and all, and I hope this works out...but even if it does... I'm ditching you in a year." Hmm. But, I can't, NOT do this.
  So am I wasting time developing a relationship with someone, if ultimately it is going to be doomed by distance? I know I'm 33, and I am supposed to want to get married, and buy a home with some more kids and a dog, but I don't. I wouldn't mind being married, but to someone who wants to adventure around the world with me; like and Amazing Race partner. I'm told, that when I meet the "right guy" I will want to settle down, but that would mean I would be willing to give up my dreams for someone else. I don't want to "settle down", regardless of whether I am single or not. Why is that such a crazy concept?
  Shinola could be a guy that would explore the world with me, but it is still new. Not developing a relationship for fear that something may cause it's demise, is a bit pessimistic. Shit happens, some relationships work, some don't. Once school starts again I won't have time to dwell on these moral dilemmas. I will be able to move forward in feigned ignorance, until I really have to get on the plane. Maybe I will be alone, or maybe not, but either way, I won't be settling.
 

Zen and sheer bike shorts

 It was one of those days where it was necessary to step back, and evaluate my mind, my life, the relationships in my life. I head out to the lake, deep in thought, and trying to sift through the heavy feelings.  Am I doing everything right? Do I see everything as it is or as I want it to be? Am I being my best self? My brow is furrowed in concentration, looking for a sign of some sort. I glance up, feeling the breeze of a bike speed past. 1) Weird guy on the bike 2) The guy is wearing see through bike shorts( sheer, black, disgusting) 3) His bikini underwear was red 4) He was standing up so the view would not be obstructed.
  Thank you red bikini guy. I can go on with my life now, being present in the moment, and with the image of your undergarments burned into my retinas.