Turning the Corner

  I feel like I have finally started to turn the corner in my life. Adjusting to this new world, as much as I can, has been a journey. In a sense I have been rediscovering what it means to be me without anyone else. I have made some mistakes along the way, and gone through some of the darkest moments I have ever experienced. But any journey worth taking requires struggle. It is through this struggle that I can truly evolve. I have often been accused of going into a cave when I am feeling down, but what people don't realize, is that all of that love and support they have offered, stays with me in the cave. It is because of that support that I can retreat safely, and digest my fears and pain, knowing all the while that there is a tremendous amount of love waiting for me when I am ready to return.
  This last year I kept wondering when I would feel normal again. But I have found that normal is not the same anymore. Instead I have to accept this new place I have come to, and understand that this is the way things were supposed to be, not because I have failed, but because it is simply what is.
  All we have is this day, and to live in regret, or in constant doubt, leaves you paralyzed. Things don't always work out the way we anticipate, or how we imagined, but so what? You get up each day, and live for the moments that make everything worth it. Whether it is a call from your son on Mother's Day, a memory of your dad that creeps up on you and makes you smile, a student beaming up at you when they understand something for the first time,  a call from your mom where you two laugh, making a new friend who you bond with instantly, or any of the other million moments we have and so quickly forget. Thank you to all of those in my life, who have made my day a million times over.